Definition of Sexual Assault
What Is Sexual Assault?
Sexual assault is any unwanted sexual contact. Whether you are fully clothed or undressed if you ask to not be touched some where or do not give consent than this is sexual assault.
What do we mean by any sexual contact. Touching that makes you feel uncomfortable, someone touching themselves, someone making you watch a sexual program you did not want to see. All of this constitutes sexual assault. It's never your fault.
What Is Rape?
Rape is forced, unwanted sexual intercourse. Rape, sometimes also called sexual assault, can happen to both men and women of any age.
Rape is about power, not sex. A rapist uses actual force or violence - or the threat of it - to take control over another human being. Some rapists use drugs to take away a person's ability to fight back. Rape is a crime, whether the person committing it is a stranger, a date, an acquaintance or a family member.
No matter how it happened, rape is frightening and traumatizing. People who have been raped need care, comfort and a way to heal.
What Should I Do?
What should you do if you've been raped?
There are no shoulds when it comes to dealing with a sexual assault except that you should be the person who decides what to do. For sure, you should take care of yourself in the way that is best for you. For some, that means reporting the crime. For some, it means taking the rapist to court and testifying. For some it means getting emotional and medical care without taking any legal action. The victim/survivor gets to choose.
Three Important Things
1. The most important of the things to remember is that THE RAPE WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. Whatever happened, in whatever way that it happened, it was not your fault. Sometimes the rapist tries to make the victim/survivor feel like it was their fault. They might say things like, "What did you expect... you shouldn't have been at this party." Or "You wanted it, you know you did." This is just a way for the rapist to try to take control away from you. In fact, what a person wears, what a person says , how a person acts, or where a person goes is never, ever a justification for rape.
2.The second thing to think about is to ask yourself DO I WANT TO SEEK MEDICAL CARE? One of the first things you should do to take care of yourself is to see a medical professional. If you go to a hospital emergency room, they will likely have doctors, nurses or counselors who have been trained in how to care for a victim/survivor of sexual assault. If you go to Concord Hospital, Franklin Regional Hospital or New London Hospital, they will automatically call one of our Hospital Advocates who will go to the hospital to stay with you during the exam. If you decide you want to go to the hospital we suggest you don't change your clothes, don't wash, don't shower, don't douche, and, if possible, don't even urinate before going to the hospital. You may feel like washing away all traces of the crime, but if you can wait until after the exam, and if you decide later to prosecute, there will be more evidence. If you think of it, take a change of clothes with you in case your clothes need to stay at the hospital as evidence. If you don't go to the hospital right away, even if it is later, we suggest you still go because you should be checked for sexually transmitted infections (STIs), pregnancy or injuries as a result of the assault. Many victim/survivors do not wish to press charges and that's okay; whatever you feel comfortable doing is right.
What happens during the medical exam?
A medical professional will test you for STIs, including HIV/AIDS. These tests may involve taking blood or saliva samples. It's scary to think of getting an STI after a rape, but the sooner a person finds out about any infection, the more effective the treatment. A doctor can begin a course of treatment for STIs, including HIV/AIDS.
If you're female, if you wish, you can be treated to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. This is NOT an abortion...it's a procedure to prevent the pregnancy from happening.
You will be checked for any injuries that might have been the result of the rape.
If you choose to have a sexual assault forensic exam, a specially trained medical professional may look for and take samples of the rapist's hair, skin, nails or bodily fluids that might be on your clothes or body.
If you think you've been given a rape drug, the doctor can test for this, as well. Just so you know, this toxicology test will detect most drugs, including illegal ones.
If at any time during the exam you want to stop the exam or any part of the exam, you have that right. You have complete control over what happens to you.
3. HONOR YOUR FEELINGS. You have been through a traumatic experience. People who are the victims/survivors of sexual assault can feel a whole myriad of things, and all of them are normal: angry, sad, scared, numb, confused, embarrassed, anxious, nervous. No one should tell you how to feel or what not to feel. This happened to you and they are your feelings. Honor them...they are the first step in healing. Sometimes feelings show themselves in physical ways: you might have trouble sleeping, or you might sleep more; you might not feel like eating, or you might eat more than you usually do; you might not feel safe going outside the house, or you might want to be with friends all the time. All of it is a normal reaction. Sometimes it feels like you'll never get over the trauma of a sexual assault. Talking about your experience in a safe place with the help of a trained professional can be an avenue toward healing. Although it can be hard to talk about it, a counselor, therapist or guidance counselor can help you to understand what happened to you, to grieve and to heal. Every victim/survivor works toward their healing in their own individual way. Some want to talk to someone they know, some want to join a support group, some want to talk to someone they don't know.
If you'd like to talk to someone anonymously, call our crisis line at 1-800-277-5570. We're here to help you find the way that is best for you.
Sexual Harassment
